The Importance Of Pet Names In Relationships

Cutesy/affectionate nicknames, also known as pet names, are often used in a relationship to show intimacy. They are equally important in both normal relationship and long distance relationship.

Calling your mate by a cutesy nickname may annoy other people, but don’t let it bother you. Researchers say it’s a sign that the two of you have a very healthy and strong relationship.


My Case

Currently, I call my girlfriend “wife” and she calls me “husband”. I know it may sound weird in the English context but it’s perfectly normal in the Chinese context. It’s just the same as calling “Honey” or “Darling” in English.

Initially when we got closer after some time, our pet names were “Yu Yu” and “Zhen Zhen”. Yu is the last word of my Chinese name and Zhen is the last word of her Chinese name. So we just repeat the word two times to make it sound intimate. As time passed by and we were even closer, one of us started this “wife and husband” thing. Since then, we always call each other husband and wife in the beginning of every conversation.



1. A Higher Level Of Intimacy

I believe this is very self-explanatory. Calling pet names rather than real name sounds closer among you because they are the names which only two of you can use to address each other. It creates a sense of uniqueness in your relationship.


2. Creates A Boundary/Exclusiveness

That’s according to the book How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. It’s a way to identify the relationship as exclusive because when people around you overhear your cutesy conversation, they know you’re committed to each other.

I know this kind of situation does not really happen frequently in the context of long distance relationship, but two of you can still feel the sense of exclusiveness. Once you meet up physically with each other after some time, the feeling will just explode and two of you will be confined in your two-person world.

This was what happened to me. When I finally had a chance to meet up with my girlfriend after a long time, we couldn’t bother what’s happening around us. We focus on each other totally. This doesn’t really occur due to pet names but pet names will make it sweeter definitely.

The sense of exclusiveness is especially important when you are messaging or calling your distant lover when two of you are apart.


3. Signs Of Alert

When two of you start to call each other using pet names, it is an obvious sign when she suddenly calls you by your actual name. It can mean two things. Firstly, it’s because she is angry at you about something. Secondly, she is joking and playing around with you. The former is more likely to happen. You will have to decipher it by the tone and context yourself.

Read this: How to resolve a quarrel in just 4 simple steps?



1. About The Awkwardness

I know it’s a bit awkward and you may feel shy when you are calling your partner by the new pet names. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal and I’ve experienced it before as well. It’s like the awkwardness when you want to say “I love you” for the first few times. Just say it as normally as you can and continue it for a few days. Both of you will get used to it. Afterwards, you will feel weird if you don’t use the nickname suddenly.


2. Address Your Lover At The Beginning Of Every Conversation

Bad example: “What are you doing?”
Good example: “Baby, what are you doing?”

Call him or her in pet names before any sentence makes a lot of difference. It sounds a lot more intimate and it definitely enhances your relationship.


3. Respect Each Other

Remember to respect your lover at all times. Do not call pet names that he or she doesn’t like.

The advice is that you can start calling your lover a pet name you like. It will generate more conversations on this. It is obvious from the conversation whether he or she likes the pet name. If you feel your partner doesn’t like it, simply just try another one next time. Another method is to ask your partner directly saying that whether you can use this pet name on him or her.

Normally, your partner will like whatever names you call him or her.


Don’t be shy!

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Jerry Huang

Jerry Huang is a young internet entrepreneur specializing in affiliate marketing. He is also the founder of Long Distance Mentors. He is passionate in helping couples to overcome obstacles in long distance relationships as he has years of experience in building a successful long distance relationship with his girlfriend who is 10 years older than him. His hobbies are reading, playing badminton and building home-based business.

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