How To Overcome Speechlessness?

At the beginning of every relationship, there’s a period of time when you will feel awkward when both of you have nothing to say – you feel speechless. You will feel yourself scratching your head, hoping to suddenly pop up some ideas or topics to chat about. This is perfectly normal. Let me give you my personal tips on how to overcome this kind of speechlessness and awkwardness from my years of experience.

Before that, you can feel fortunate that you are in a long distance relationship as you can still hide behind your hand phone or laptop screen. The awkwardness will be fifty times larger for those couples who can meet up frequently but often feel speechless when face to face.

Read this: 14 Benefits Of A Long Distance Relationship: The Most Complete List From My Own Experience


My Personal Tips For You

1. Get Ideas From Social Media

There are a lot of interesting information on social media every day. You may be skimming them very frequently but ignoring the power of them. These may include constellation predictions/characteristics, funny pictures/videos/news/articles and any other things on social media that you think both of you can resonate with.

What you can do with these is that you can share them with your lover via chatting Apps or the social media directly, if possible, generate more conversation on the topic. Personally, I like to share things from Facebook as I use it often and I find it easy to look for interesting things there. I will share it directly on Facebook with her sometimes or via LINE, the chatting App that we use.


2. Think About His/Her Daily Routines

Simple conversations can be generated around the daily routines. You can talk about his/her work, meal and other happenings. You can also ask your lover what he/she is doing right now. This will make your lover feel blessed as he/she can feel that you are missing him/her. Think about his/her daily routines and start from there to develop more conversations. Normally when you start thinking about his/her daily routines, you can generate more tacit understanding among you that will make both of you feel happy and loved.


3. Do Something Together At The Same Time

Being physically apart doesn’t mean you cannot do things together. Below are some of the suggested activities that you can do at the same time which are tested and I am doing them with my girlfriend.

  • Video Chatting
  • Showering
  • Eating
  • Sleeping/Nap
  • Reading
  • Masturbating / Masturbating while video chatting (This definitely is not suggested for those of you who have just begun your relationship. This requires some time and some work.)

Related post: Tips To Start Chatting About Sexual Topics (Coming soon)

Above are just a few suggestions. The kind of activities depend on your habits/hobbies and time zone. I can understand the amount of activities is a lot fewer for those long distance lovers in different time zones. Just try to find something that both of you can do together at the same time. This will make your conversations more interesting and make you feel blessed and sweet by doing the same things together with your lover despite you are far apart.


4. Common Hobbies

This is very obvious. After some time, both of you will know a little more about each other and what he/she likes. Continue building conversations on your common topics. It will resonate and generate more topics and conversations.

You can talk about the singers, songs, actors, movies, TV shows which both of you like. If possible, you can watch online TV together even though you are in different areas or countries. After all, the Internet is powerful today, making long distance relationship really really really possible. It’s all depend on how you build and manage your relationship.


The Most Most Most Important Tip You Must Remember: Make Lists !

ChecklistAll the above 4 tips are mainly on idea generation. Now, it’s the time to jot down and combine all the ideas that pop up in your mind or you find it somewhere into your hand phone notes. Or you can simply grab a pen and paper to write down what you want to chat about in your next conversation, or next next conversation. Once you have the idea, jot it down, so that you can accumulate a list of ideas and points to talk about whenever you feel yourself speechless. Just look at the notes, you will find your next topic to chat about immediately because it is already in your data base.

This also prevents you from forgetting things that you wanted to say. The feeling is terrible. I experienced it before. So start to accumulate your point lists and you do not have to worry about being speechless next time.



(1) You can arrange the list in order of importance and urgency.  

(2) You do not have to talk about every point on the list in one conversation. Just talk about those that you feel is important and urgent at that point of time. Start with your normal conversation first and turn to the list when you need it – that is when you’ve run out of points at that particular conversation.

(3) Don’t force any conversation. Make it as natural as possible. If that particular topic has ended, just move on to the next topic. It won’t be awkward. However, it will be if you are trying to force the conversation to continue on the same topic.


Until one day, you will realize that you do not need this list anymore. I personally abandoned it a few months after I got together with my girlfriend. We can chat very naturally. We won’t feel awkward or embarrassed when we got nothing to say. Until then, Congratulations! You’ve overcomed speechlessness and have advanced to the next level of your relationship! 

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Jerry Huang

Jerry Huang is a young internet entrepreneur specializing in affiliate marketing. He is also the founder of Long Distance Mentors. He is passionate in helping couples to overcome obstacles in long distance relationships as he has years of experience in building a successful long distance relationship with his girlfriend who is 10 years older than him. His hobbies are reading, playing badminton and building home-based business.

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