How To Build Trust In A Long Distance Relationship? Part 3: Common Pitfalls
It’s time for building trust topic again. This will be the last part of the “How to build trust in a long distance relationship” series. Let’s don’t waste any time and get started right away with the tips today!
5 Common Pitfalls That You Need To Be Careful Of
1. Never Accuse Your Partner Of Being Unfaithful
This cannot be stressed enough but I believe this is very straight forward. Accusing your partner of being unfaithful is the fastest way to break the trust and the relationship. In a long distance relationship, unless you are an relationship expert or you already achieve a very stable relationship, I’m pretty sure there will be times when you started suspecting your partner. This is very normal and I was guilty of that as well. No matter how much trust you have for your partner, suspicion always like to come and disturb our long distance relationships due to the lack of physical interactions and the amount of distance and uncertainty between you. However, the last thing you want to do is to accuse your parnter for being unfaithful. You can only do that when you have already decided to end the relationship. As long as you have not come to that decision, you shouldn’t accuse your partner no matter how much evidence there might be. This is because you will never know whether it’s worth it to risk the relationship. So don’t do anything that you will regret.
The tip for this is as follows. In Part 1, rule number 5 says “Assume good intentions”. If you are following this rule well, I’m sure you will not come to the state where you want to accuse your partner.
- Unless there is real solid evidence
- And you have decided to end the relationship
- Or else, you NEVER accuse your partner for being unfaithful
Sometimes, what you think or even see may not be the truth. If you are open with each other and committed to your relationship, she will confess any infidelity to you, and then you can deal with it in a healthy and positive way. If you accuse him or her, you introduce suspicion into both sides of the relationship, ultimately and irreparably damaging it.
2. Address Disagreements Calmly & Rationally
As with any relationship, it’s inevitable that there will be times when you or your partner is annoyed or unhappy due to disagreements and conflicts between you. This is something unpleasant. BUT LOOK, this is actually a very good opportunity to build trust and strengthen your long distance relationship.
What you need to do is to…
- Calm yourself down
- Try to understand your partner’s point of view and his or her feelings
- Explain to him or her how you feel
- Discuss your disagreement
- Work together to come up with a solution, and make sure you’re both happy with the resolution.
If both of you have this right mindset and practice, I’m sure you will be able to resolve any disagreements peacefully and make two of you love each other even more.
Personally, I have had many conflicts with my long distance girlfriend. I have done things that didn’t resolve the conflict and end up both of us being unhappy and angry. But there are also times when I calmly and peacefully resolve the conflict and turn it into something that build our trust and strengthen our relationship.
So, it is true and possible to not just solve the disagreement but make it into some trust-building factor. It’s all about whether you want to make the effort or not.
3. Expand Your Conversations To Keep Them From Getting Boring
This is a very common problem that many people have. In a long distance relationship where the forms of communication are mostly limited via the Internet, you will get bored if both of you are talking about the same thing everyday.
Heres’ some tips for you! Expand your conversations by asking questions, teaching your partner about something new you’re learning, discussing books and movies you’ve enjoyed, or playing a game together.
Since you are limited to the Internet, why not go on a virtual date? Watch a movie together online, play online games together or take an online class together with your partner. There are more and more things you can actually do together with your partner online as the technology advances. This can simulate the shared experience that you get from dating in-person, and this will help you build your conversations.
Guess what?! Today, you can have real time sex with your long distance partner without any delay! This is no joke. See it yourself HERE.
4. Avoid All Trust Breaking Factors
This is back to the basics and this is very straight forward. Many people actually know what to do and what not to do in a relationship but they are still doing it. When talking about trust breaking factor, people will straight away think of infidelity. Infidelity is indeed one of them but there are many many more.
Let me list you some!
- Broken promises
- Irresponsible and inconsiderate behavior
- Keeping secrets
- Unrealistic expectations
- White lies
These are just some of the most common trust breaking factors. I believe they are all very self-explanatory.
You need to recognize what are the things that will harm your relationship. In fact, you already know most of them deep in your heart. It’s just whether you treasure your relationship and whether you want to put in the effort.
5. Deal With Family & Friends’ Pressure Carefully
For any long term relationship, family members and friends will be involved at some point of time. Some of them will not support you but hopefully most of them will. Sometimes their voices and opinions are important to you as you want their advice and support. Definitely, some will give you pressure indirectly. This will turn into conflict either between you and your partner or you and your family members if you did not handle it carefully.
There are 3 main areas that generally cause the conflicts.
- Long distance relationship: some people are skeptical about this
- Age gap: this is more of a problom among older generations whom are more concerned about you and your partner’s age.
- Your family members or friends simply don’t like your partner
What you need to do is to react calmly especially for those who do not support you. You shouldn’t give in if you are serious about the relationship. After all, it’s your life and your partner. Your friends, your parants are not going to live your life for you and live with your partner. However, do not confront directly with them if you cannot persuade them. If you’ve tried to talk to them but failed, then simply avoid talking about this topic again with them.
For your partner, back to the most important thing – communication, talk to him or her and discuss any issues from both sides – her family & friend and yours. The last thing you want to do is to get into quarrel with your partner.
This is a really tricky area and you must handle with CARE!
Here comes to the end of the “How to build trust in a long distance relationship” series. Unlike other articles, I have broken down this topic into three parts and I tried to make it easy-to-follow by giving you the steps in point/number forms. I have put in a lot of my time and effort into this as I want to offer you as much value as possible. If you follow the steps, I’m sure you will upgrade your relationship to the next level.
Regardless of all the tips, the most important point is this…
Let your partner know that he/she is always on your mind!
I hope you enjoy reading my articles as much as I enjoy writing them for you. Now, I’ve given you some really useful tips and I’m sure you can execute them well. I wish you all my best in your relationship!
- Have the right mindset
- Take the necessary actions
- Avoid the common pitfalls
You are now the master of building trust.
YOUR relationship, YOU protect it YOURSELF!